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cyberfricking:

when u type ;) instead of :)

confessionistt:

do i have any weird followers that want to transfer me money for absolutely no reason at all

aquariantides:

adulthood is just an endless stream of phone calls you don’t want to make but have to

hippiee:

i think it’s cute when someone texts you after hanging out just to say they had fun with you, idk little things like that mean the world to me

captainofthenx02:

captainofthenx02:

captainofthenx02:

captainofthenx02:

“STOP WATCHING PORN ON MY WRITING COMPUTER!”

“STOP WRITING ON MY PORN COMPUTER!”

“YOU’RE A MARRIED MAN YOU SHOULDN’T NEED A PORN COMPUTER!”

“YOU WRITE LIKE A SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD YOU SHOULDN’T NEED A WRITING COMPUTER!”

UPDATE. SHE THREW THE LAPTOP OUT OF THE WINDOW AND WALKED OFF. HE STOOD THERE LOOKING FORLORN AND THEN CLEARLY REALISED I WAS LOOKING, WAVED AND SHOUTED “NEVER GET A WIFE, LESBIAN NEIGHBOUR.”

I am impressed about two things. 1) I am lesbian neighbour and 2) he knew I was awake.

I’m a little concerned/amused by the amount of notes this post has gotten.

I was just thinking about porn guy and remembered this story. I’m amused again by this. I need to take him a cake on the 1st anniversary of this conversation.